RAYMOND – A VERY SPECIAL BROTHER Raymond was born on the 20th March 1928 in Sunderland. Our parents had been married less than a year and the country was in the midst of the depression. Jobs and money were in very short supply. They were desperate times. The story goes that he was born prematurely and the doctors, no doubt with the best of intentions, advised our parents not to spend too much on the new arrival! Needless to say he did survive but only after much loving care. The family stayed in the North East making a living as best they could until the late thirties when work opportunities prompted a move South to North Finchley. At first they stayed in a flat but soon after committed themselves to buying their first house, 17 Torrington Park. It must have taken incredible courage to both move so far away from the rest of the family and, with their limited finances, to start buying a house. Raymond often said that this was only possible because Mum and Dad had supreme confidence in each other to play their respective parts, Dad to earn the money and Mum to manage it. Both Raymond and I have tremendous admiration for what our parents achieved. This then was the world that Raymond grew up in. The circumstances surrounding his early years and the incredible way our parents coped were I believe to play a major role in determining his character and his relationship with others including myself. I was born in 1940 with the family, Mum, Dad & Raymond living in North Finchley. Raymond was nearly 12. In the beginning I guess that I was just the bundle which he would be required to do things for. My mother told me that she often sent him shopping to the local CoOp with me in the pram. And occasionally he would forget and leave me there. I came to no harm. But knowing my mother I can’t say the same for him! I must have been an absolute pain to him in those days. I think my earliest memories start around 1945 when I was 5 and Raymond 17. We still had rationing and money was still tight. I can recall however that whereas Mum & Dad always managed to provide the essentials Raymond was always on hand to satisfy my other demands. He provided me with all sorts of goodies that were hard to come by • My model yacht to sail on Friary Park Pond – I still have it • All my bikes • All my cricket , football and fishing equipment. • The list just goes on. I recall that in those early days I used to meet him at Woodside Park Tube Station on his way home from work to be carried on his shoulders all the way home. Nothing was too much trouble for him. I was his kid brother but he was my big brother if threatened by bullies. In my early teens he became my mentor giving advice on all manner of subjects. He even insisted that I went to ballroom dancing classes. They cost him one and sixpence a week - but he knew they would stand me in good stead at school. They did. In my year of some 30 girls and 30 boys only 3 of the boys could dance! Again when I had the opportunity to exercise my dancing skills I was invariably wearing his clothes. My friends would comment that Raymond must be at home in his pyjamas. In the mid 50s, along with Dad we did house decorating in the evenings to supplement our income. Raymond would borrow a builders truck, one of those with very large wheels, load it up with our gear and pull it from North Finchley to Church End and back again. It may surprise some of you but it is true. It was only later that we had the luxury of mechanised transport. The three of us thoroughly enjoyed working together. It is possible that one of our customers is here with us today. I bought my first house in 1968. It was a wreck. Raymond and I started working on it in June and albeit with some assistance totally transformed it by October. Raymond was with me every evening Monday to Friday. Saturday he worked at Portobello Road Market and Sunday he was back with me again. I knew when I bought the house that I could rely on his support. Without his help I could not have done it. Life was not all work. The 12 years age difference meant nothing and didn’t prevent us from socialising together. We rarely missed our visit to the pub on a Tuesday evening; these only stopped when my work forced a move to Sussex. We also enjoyed holidays together, both with our families and I dare to add without. I could go on for a long time with stories describing my feelings for and debt to my brother. But that would not be fair. There were others in his life, not least his own family, Dorothy his wife of nearly 55 years, daughters Susan, Joanne, and Alison, sons in law Aiden and Ian, grandchildren Charlotte, Luke, Thomas, Pip and Emma. I am truly grateful to them for allowing Raymond to give so much of himself to me. As his brother I am also grateful to them for their love throughout his life and particularly so over the last year or so to make Raymond’s life so much better than it might otherwise have been. I said earlier that I am sure that his early life made an enormous impression on him. It drove him to ensure that wherever possible his loved ones would benefit from his experiences, have a more comfortable life and to use a north country expression –to not go short. He most certainly succeeded. I would like to finish by asking you all to spend a few quiet moments with your personal thoughts on Raymond’s life and his influence on ours. Pause Thank you Raymond for all that you have done for us, for your love, help and understanding. We can only hope and pray that we were able to reciprocate in some small way. It has been a privilege having you as a brother and best friend.. I trust that we shall meet again in the future and pick up where we left off. God bless.